There exist in the world certain places…

Some of these places are called are called Belk. Not Belk’s. 

or Ross. Not Ross’s. 

or Wild Wing. Not Wild Wing’s. 

Not really a serious, life or death issue, nothing that actually bothers me truly is. 

But if I hear one more person use these terms, I’m cutting their tongue out and adding an apostrophe and an S for ownership. So they’ll remember I own them.

For real.

Stop that shit.  

ALSO:

As if I respond to text messages often…

If you text me asking “What you doing?” 

I will not text back. 

If you’re so dumb or lazy or ignorant that you cannot place “ARE” in a four word sentence, fuck you. 

ALSO ALSO:

If you send me a text message asking 

“Where you at?” 

I will not respond. 

One simply does not end a sentence with “at” and get a reply back. For real. My son is more literate than most of my friends. 

My son is 5 months old.